Just sitting and thinking about the things I have done, the crying, the laughing, the hurt and the fun.
Now it’s just me and my hard driven guilt, behind a wall of emptiness I allowed to be built.
I am trapped in my body, just wanting to run, back to my youth with its laughter and fun.
But the chase is over and there’s no place to hide, everything is gone, including my pride.
With reality suddenly right in my face, I am scared and alone and stuck in this place.
Now memories of the past flash through my head, and the pain is obvious by the tears I shed.
I ask myself why and where I went wrong, I guess I was weak when I should of been strong.
Living for drugs and the wings I had grown, my feelings were lost, afraid to be shown.
As I look at my past, it’s easy to see, the fear that I had, afraid to be me.
I would pretend to be rugged, so fast and so cool, when actually I was lost like a blind fool.
I am getting too old for this tiresome game, of acting real hard, with no sense of shame.
It’s time that I changed and get on with my life, fulfilling my dreams for a family, to be a wife.
What my future will hold, I really don’t know, but the years that are wasted are starting to show.
I just live for the day when I’ll get a new start, and the dreams I still hold, deep in my heart.
I hope I can make it, I at least have to try, because I am heading towards death and I don’t want to die.
-By, Linzi M., age 24